I’ve had a physiological aversion to diets, not just because I love everything about eating and tasting, but because they were a constant focus in my mom’s side of the family. How “heavy” I appeared to them was a big concern, despite the fact that I could bench press 165 pounds as a 15-year-old girl. My mom tried to give me a healthier body image, as she herself heard her families’ voice commenting on any curve or pound and went on several diets at the urging of these pressures. I remember her friend and her joking if only they’d loved their bodies more when they were young.
Why I am doing this?
3) A gift to my 90-year-old self: she is going to walk around.
As a young girl, I stole my mom’s diet food more than once, even I used to feel guilty about that, until I remember how hungry I was. So, being hungry today, it triggered some of these feelings of what I felt as a kid, and I am sure over the next few days I’ll be “unpacking” my aversion to feeling hunger. “It’s okay,” I tell my body, “you’re getting all the nutrients you need. You’re okay.”
So even though I’m hangry, I’m excited for this gift I’m giving myself!