Choosing My ‘Real’ Family

The truth is I have broken my family’s rules.

Repeatedly.

I have for 46 years of my life sought to follow the rules.

I found safety in rules, I dislike it when others don’t follow the rules, yet here I am an unwilling rebel.

I was raised to be compliant, obedient and to serve.

Those traits have served me well for the most part, even though it made me a ready-made victim for the man that choose to violate my body and soul, I was not willing to fully confront those core traits until my parents hurt my children and husband.

When used against those I am supposed to protect it broke something inside of the little compliant girl.

This is not to my credit that it took others to be hurt until I was willing to take a stand.

I spent years trying so hard to be a good daughter to them, and for that, my husband and children paid a very steep price.

I lied to protect my parents and the past, I thought I was being nice and forgiving.

I have come to learn that I was enabling the lies and thus a party to my family being hurt.

I am still working on forgiving myself for this.

Upon hearing things from my parents, individuals have taken it upon themselves to threaten me with all kinds of consequences if “one more text or multi-paragraph rant is posted”.

As I have not texted my mother, accept to send tax letters and bills that come to our home.

I do reply when she texts me a long list of my sins — in response I say things like “If this is how you feel about me then it should be easy to leave us alone.”

Again they disinherited me in 2020 after years of bad-mouthing my husband and myself to all that would listen.

It wasn’t until their actions against my children came to light that I made the choice to stop trying to mend the relationship.

They have repeatedly asked me not to come to their funerals.

These things were said to hurt me and to get me back in line.

Instead, it backfired on them — I now fully consider myself out of my family of origin.

I choose my children and husband.

This would not all be public if they choose not to send people after us, the term is called “flying monkeys”.

I can only assume that my recent posts praising my husband, and those that saved me as a child have triggered these intense threats.

I have unfriended and blocked those that I feel are trying to feed this drama.

If you are not comfortable with who I am, I invite you to block and remove me from your life.

It is in the darkness that falsehood flourishes, my attempts to live in the light are uncomfortable to you, these threats only make me want to be bolder and cast light further into the shadows.

Jesus Christ turned over tables when His Father’s house was threatened.

Christ called people out for their lies and false doctrine.

I am not Christ, and my attempts to live my life will be clumsy and awkward at times, still, if these threats are realized by those seeking to tear me and my family down I will stand in any court of the land or God’s court to defend my family and finally, after 46 years of compliance, to their rules, I will defend myself.

Until then I will continue to be me, to be as honest as I can, though at this time I choose to not share the full extent of what they have done, they know it and by castigating myself and my family are seeking to create a hoard of those to validate them.

Their pattern is they have always been the victim of others, I have been selected as the new tormentor.

Stories are made up, exaggerated to compel sympathy — It doesn’t change the truth and because I will not fall in line, as I always did before, they will die hating me.

I know that I have mourned it.

When in heaven I look forward to hugs all around as I believe in the redemptive power of God.

I also believe you are not required under God’s or man’s law to associate with those who take no steps to apologize or take accountability.