For me I never reached the “I’m good” I don’t want more kids phase.
In raising my own children it only made the losses through miscarriages and Katelynn’s death more poignant, this is so great having Nathaniel and Ailsa only imagine if I’d been able to keep those kids!
I love seeing how they look at the world, the sweet hugs, the giggles at a corny joke, the full on energy until they crash sleeping in the car awkwardly.
Because of a divorce in our family, I am more involved in the care of my nieces and nephews.
The sad irony is I’m getting more time than their own mom.
I rotate between sadness for her and I hate to say it, full disgust at her choices.
She didn’t wake up one day and decide to blow up her life, she made that choice by little steps.
Little moments, and over the almost year since she announced her new life with a new guy— I’ve been left to sort out how this could have happen to my friend.
Little comments against her husband she’d laughed off, little comments against mine, soon comments against men in general.
I didn’t like it.
It felt sticky too me, but I didn’t judge her I just let her tell me her thoughts.
She was listening to a lot of online gurus that told her how her life could be.
She hired an expensive female empowerment coach.
She wanted my career, was angry at me when I didn’t give her a speaking career, I tried explaining how that’s not how it works.
She didn’t talk to me for a few months.
I shrugged it off, she was busy with her kids, I told myself.
She wanted a life bigger and better than the mom life.
Due to my husband heart attack, I pursued a career, it was never for me.
I never had a hole I needed filled to find my life fulfilling.
To me being in a room by myself is fulfilling.
Taking dinner to a neighbor, being kind, being a wife, a mom soooo fulfilling all I wanted was more kids.
That was the life, what “empowered” women say is the wrong life— the lesser life.
Ladies it is not.
I’ve had crowds of hundreds give me a standing ovation.
I’ve been offered an almost million dollars to travel multiple days of the week speaking and training, something I’m really good at.
I said no.
Because I knew the secret the greatest happiness is found in a loving family within our homes.
I wasn’t willing to walk away from raising my own kids.
Joy, happiness, fulfillment out there will never be enough if you don’t know how to make happiness inside your own mind.
Men are not the problem ladies, you know what the problem is?
Listening to those who tell you what you HAVE isn’t enough.
Those that tell you to go find your happiness, your truth.
You have to find THE truth inside your own soul.