New Year’s Resolution or?

This January, with my foot up several times a day, I have more time than I normally give myself to really look at things from various angles.

Over the next few days/ weeks I’m going to be sharing posts like the one yesterday (mingled with the posts of our happenings) to build up to why I’ve held off on putting somethings I feel I’m supposed to say so out there.

A public accounting as it were.

I am bringing you along because my gift/ purpose in life that is God-given, God-directed, and thus accountable to God for the use of that gift is to share truth. I’ve been given talents like being engaging and fun to help me do that. I have tried to be a light and follow my purpose and at the same time not to shine too bright.

Why attract the moths if you can avoid that?

I’ve pointed to my own weakness, hurt , contentment, and even my anger as justifications why I can’t, am not ready, and therefore shouldn’t shine too much.

Why am I angry? Because my husband and children have been hurt, repeatedly by others. If it were just me, I could handle that but hurting the people I love most? Am I just to sit and watch it happen? Again and again?

About 2-3 years ago I had a realization about anger. The full context of this will be in my third book.

The simple is this:

Who exactly is suppressing it?

It’s easy to say that a person is a yeller when they are angry! It’s harder to look at ourselves and realize when we’ve been hurt deeply by another person that we are really angry at ourselves for trusting the wrong person. Or having faith in something that simply isn’t true. Either of those will lead to anger.

The why of all this has been a source of cathartic forgiveness of them and mostly myself for giving them access.

Forgiveness and trust are two different things, as honesty and accountability are intertwined traits, forgiveness and trust are two different camps. I’ll explain that in another post.